Days with My Father - M1 Festival

"Art comes from inside of us. My family has made me who I am. A bundle of insight and neurosis." Philip Toledano.

Last month at the Esplanade Tunnel I caught a very moving exhibition entitled "Days with My Father." The M1 Festival catalogue described Toledano's exhibition as "a poignant series of photos of his father after his mother's death." It essentially deals with aging, death and loss of memory of a loved one. In this case it was the photographer's father. I had mixed emotions - how can someone utilize/commercialize his own father's suffering and have the world pry into his failing mental health in this way? Isn't it deeply disrespectful to your father? On the other hand I felt that maybe it is a way to celebrate beauty and fragility and love of humankind and the father-son bond. Maybe he really wanted to share with the world the reality and fragility of human ending. And he had the courage to share with the world a very private aspect of himself. After looking at the exhibition and the text that accompanied it I was convinced that Toledano's motivation was quite pure. And in some way I very much identified with the exhibition. And what he as a son was going through since my dad also suffers from a degenerative mental condition - Parkinsons. And it is heartbreaking to have him repeat the same question over and over again and to confuse the past, present and future. In some ways Toledano's exhibition showed me how one can capture love and beauty in the midst of aging in a sensitive and humane way. And that is so deeply affirming. Elderly people are often hidden away from the youth saturated media. There are so few ways to honor and celebrate our elders and tap into their collective wisdom and memory. This exhibition showed me a way to do this with dignity.