Respecting First Emotional Response

Today I heard a wonderful interview at BBC by Francoise Barbe-Gail who says that we must respect our first emotional response to a work. She explains that we are often very shy and frightened when we look at a painting. We always have a first impression. It is important to trust this first impression. If it disgusts you, you might want to go further and explore why. She says when you do this it enables you to get in touch with the painter's instincts and it gives clues to his life. Going beyond this first impression is also important (without negating the first impression). How do you trust your own impression while also trusting the instincts of the painter? She goes onto say that in many ways seeing a painting is like meeting a new person.

To train you eye you cannot begin with academic art history. If you do so it clouds your feelings and impression. I think what se is really saying is that you need to see art from the heart. Not from the head. To formulate your own view and determine your own values. It is important to be aware of what the images are actively conveying to us.

Her views have inspired me to buy her book How to Look at a Painting.

David Brooks - The Social Animal

In a cab ride to a lunchtime event I heard a snapshot of a great interview. The interviewee said something that deeply resonated.

"There is a gigantic bias in our (american) culture towards hard measurable things. We need that. But I am also for music, art and playtime. The real key to our wisdom is how to educate our emotions... We educate our emotions by art, literature by movie character and by surrounding ourselves with certain kinds of people and not other kinds of people. That is how our emotions get smarter. Why do kids stay in high-school? Mainly due to ABC - atheletics, band and cheerleeding. This gives them meaning and keeps them in school. The art and atheletics keeps kids emotionally connected to school

Whoever this guy was - he was summing up my life !!! It was all my dancing and creative stuff that kept me happy, fulfilled and engaged throughout my school years. I remember in Law School that in one year my grades suffered as I had cut down all my creative activities and focused only on law. The final year I went back to dancing and creating and I thrived and got the top prize for a very complex legal subject. It taught me a very important lesson - that my brain is wired in a certain way and that it functions better with a certain mix of activities.

He also gave me an insight into the psyche of American men brought up in suburbia. He said that they don't feel that they are equipped to express emotions or how to deal with it. He pointed out that there is indeed a cultural norm in America that one should be self sufficient and should not express emotions. As a result American men develop a phobia towards emotions and tend to withdraw when they are confronted with certain emotions.

Finally he spoke about how different cultures see things differently. For example, Americans he said looked at the Mona Lisa and looked mainly at her eyes and her mouth. Other cultures look at things all around the Mona Lisa. I definitely fell into the latter category - ie context mattered alot more for me in the total appreciation of the work. He cited another fascinating experiment -how when you place a tank of gold fish in front of Americans and Chinese you get very different reactions. The Americans immediately focussed on the biggest fish and the details that it presented. The Chinese looked at everything around the fish including the fish.

Finally I found it really funny that he said that Washington DC, where he lives, is the most emotionally avoidant city on Earth. When I jumped out of the cab I looked up the author and his new book - The Social Animal - The Hidden Sources of Love, Character and Achievement.

The Danger of a Single Story

An amazing discussion on the power of the Western media and the challenges of claiming one's authentic voice outside the Western media. The author chronicles her artistic journey and shifts in mental attitude. How she overcame and fought African bias that was perpetuated by the Western media. For example her first interaction with an American student was laden with patronizing assumptions. How the American students were sorry for her even before they met her. An outgrowth of the limited range of stories being told about Africans in the Western media. No possibility of a connection as human equals. No possibility of any complex emotion beyond pity.

She traces the popular images to stories told by white literature. There is a tradition of telling African stories in the West which is equated with darkness, barbarism, poverty and senseless wars. How African "authenticity" was equated to these negatives. This is the danger of a single story. Not that these negatives are untrue No, but these negatives per se do not define a country and its people.

Because of America's economic power there were many stories of America and American landscape. As such there is lesser risk of one stereotype becoming associated with America. That is not the case with Africa. One way to disempower a culture is to tell a single story as the definitive story. The problem with steoreotypes is not that it is untrue but that it is too narrow. It robs people of dignity. It makes people (both within and outside Africa) focus on the negatives without the benefit of the positives. The beauty of the African landscape, its art and poetry.

The same dangerous trend seems to be happening with popular Indian culture. Increasingly Bollywood is becoming synonymous with India, Indians and Indian culture. Mumbai is but one state in India. Hindi is but one of the 20 Indian languages recognized in India. Bollywood like Hollywood is a machine with a certain aesthetic and commercial pressures. There are many people outside this machinery who tell wonderful stories and showcase artistic brilliance and diversity.

Stories can break people but can also repair a broken people. When you reject the temptations of a single story you regain a sense of power. Freedom to tell new stories which can heal and empower people. And preserve their dignity and heritage.

The Fasting Path

"What the eyes are for the outer world, fasts are for the inner" Gandhi

Among my family members and the wider Indian-HIndu spiritual community that I have grown up in, fasting is a common practice. Fasting does not connote food-free days. Fasting days are days when you give up your favorite food or you eat more simple/spartan food. My mom is vegetarian twice a week - on Fridays and Saturdays. These days are dedicated to God. She stays away from meat and eats simply to honor the divine. Nothing extreme but done consistently over more than 45 years of her life. I have other friends who eat only milk and fruits on certain important days on the Hindu religious calendar. Yet others who eat only one meal in the evening and do not drink even water from 5am (start of fast) to 8pm (breaking fast). Both the start of the fast and the breaking of fast is done with God as witness. By offering the fast to the Lord via prayer. I have never done a full fast. I am sure I will one day when I feel ready. But a few years ago I started to be vegetarian on Tuesdays (for Durga) and Fridays. I feel that it has been very good for me. It has taught me discipline, self-control and to be more mindful of what I eat. I also have learnt to enjoy vegetarian food. When I abstain from meat on these days I am reminded of the divine, both within as well as the higher power above.

Recently I picked up "Stephen Buhner's The Fasting Path." This book discusses how fasting makes one more spiritually attuned. He discusses the spiritual, emotional and physiological aspects of fasting. In particular it increases one's sensitivity to the sacred world and allowed the fasting person to regain a sense of orientation and purpose. During deep fasting the rational mind is left behind and a different intelligence, located in the heart, is activated. The heart is a deeper organ of perception and it allows one to develop a new sight - that enables us to see the divine in many things. Solo retreat into the wilderness and fasting is common in many ancient cultures including Buddhist, HIndus, Christians and Native Americans. This allows the souls to detoxify and strip the inessentials away, making the essential more luminous. Our path and purpose if life become clearer.

Buhner also discusses how to open up the heart as an organ of perception during the fast. First he says set your intention for the fast. Carry this intention at the forefront of your mind while you fast. This focus is important otherwise one gets nothing out of this fast except hunger and thirst. There is no new insight, no deeper acceptance of your victories and failures, no great clarity on the path ahead. So marrying intention with fasting is critical for self renewal and an increased maturity and strength of character. I feel it is best to do fasts incrementally but consistently so that they become a pleasant and valuable opportunities for self-growth and reflection.

David Marshall

Today morning while at the Marine Parade library I stumbled onto a beautiful exhibition on David Marshall. David Marshall was a prominent Singapore criminal lawyer and politician. He lived a long and illustrious life in which he served as a diplomat, criminal lawyer and time in Japanese captivity as a prisoner of war. The exhibition was particularly moving as it provided an intimate insight into the man with both words and old B&W photography from the time he was a little boy and all the way up to his death. Some of the fascinating things I discovered about him was that:

1. He was considered an "Asian" by the European rulers and therefore given half the pay for work he did with the colonial powers. He stood up to them and successfully fought for equal pay.

2. He had a difficult start to his legal career. None of the English firms would hire him. Through his father's contacts he eventually landed a job with a small local firm run by one of his father's friends who was also a very influential local man.

3. He took whatever work that came his way. He did not start his career in criminal law. But whatever work he did he did it with exceptional pride and excellence. As such he won the respect of his peers in the bar. He used to go to bed at 8pm at night and wake up at 2am in the morning to prepare for the case to be heard that day at 10am. His dedication and hardwork was renowned.

4. He had various health problems throughout his life. Towards the end of his life his eyesight was very bad and he had great difficulty reading cases. But yet Drew & Napier allowed him to serve as a consultant as they felt he was a shining role model for the younger lawyers and had a depth of experience and wisdom to impart.

5. He also worked at Allen & Gledhill and at one point started his own law firm. His career was also interrupted by the war and when he was captured and made to do menial work in captivity he suffered deeply. Some of his friends died in captivity and he was reduced to a mere 53kg.

6. He married at 53 years old after spotting a beautiful woman in her graduation attire at the University.

The above tapestry of personal facts struck me. I always thought that David Marshall had a privileged life and like many white men had privileged opportunities that were denied to others. In fact it was apparent from the exhibition that this was far from the truth. David had to overcome many struggles in his life and had faced many many obstacles. Yet he fought courageously and stayed true to his ideals and his legal profession. I guess there is inspiration all around us if we care to look up and around us.

Combating Narcissism

In my lifetime as an artist I have come across many wonderful artists - wonderful until I get to know them as a person. They are great on stage and wonderful performers. But as a human being offstage they can't seem to cope with life and normal relationships. They have a sense of grandiosity and injured superiority and often even forget that there is another person in the room. This kind of extreme self-absorption is something I feel borders on unhealthy narcissism and I have been mindful of its viral quality. To combat the creeping power of such narcissism and the martyred genius syndrome follow some of these prescriptions offered by Dr Eric Maisel

1. Stop yourself when you feel like preening, being sadistic or dismissive.

2. Choose somone to love, comfort and respect. Give without a thought to taking.

3. Moderate your reactions in the interpersonal realm. When someone injures you do not retaliate with a nuclear attack.

4. Feel, rather than steel yourself. Feel empathy, compassion and all the soft feelings that lead to love and tears.

5. Manage your ego. Someone's else's success is not a personal affront.

6. Share credit and don't be greedy.

7. Reduce your sense of injury. Haunted by old injuries you may calculate every interpersonal moment as either victory or defeat. Don't - otherwise you will be isolated.

Eric Maisel "The Van Gogh Blues"

An excellent book on why creative people are more prone to depression and the path out of such depressive states. The author's central premise is that creative people are more prone to asking about life's meaning and the meaning of their work. For creators loss of meaning and doubts about life's meaningfulness are persistent demons to be wrestled with. The inability to find and sustain meaning in one's life and one's work often induces anxiety, boredom and ultimately if not controlled spirals down into depression. The author suggests a few ways to "force life to mean" and how to remain engaged with life while fighting the temptation to give up and label one's efforts and therefore one's life as meaningless. His suggestions include:

1. Develop a personal creed that combines both your principles and passion. This can be made up of core principles or it can be an intuitive guidance system - one connected to your intuitive wisdom when confronted with a loss of meaning.

2. Record the answer to these three questions - (a) what it means to live a meaningful life; (b) engage in meaningful work; and (c) spend time in a meaningful way.

3. Create a LIfe Plan for a year that combines and balances the answers set out n 2. This flow from the Personal Creed but should not be too abstract. Eg. I intend to write powerfully and truthfully in my blog once a week.

4. Identify and dispute negative self-talk that mocks your hardwork and discipline by constantly checking and asking Where is All this Going? When confronted with this mocking voice be firm in refuting it and replacing it with a positive and supportive self-talk. A creator must STOP pestering himself with unanswerable questions relating to meaning of life.

5. Opt to Matter. Constantly be on the look out to activate your passion, enthusiasm and life force. Be your own power/energy generator. Take charge of the present moment and stop brooding about meaninglessness.

6. Brave Anxiety. Many artists get caught in the destructive cycle of threatening thought-anxious reaction-full retreat. Many creators don't fully understand how anxiety puts a fatal brake on their work. As a result they feel weak and unproductive and this is a short step away from powerlessness, eroded self-esteem and depression.

7. Confronting Narcissism. Unhealthy narcissism prevents creators from forging intimate loving relationships. Without such a relationship or a life void of a loving partner it is very difficult to find and sustain meaning in one's life. Every artist has a mix of healthy and unhealthy narcissism. Unhealthy narcissism has a certain extreme self-absorbed quality where relationships tend to incline towards the brief and dramatic, where intimacy brings rage rather than love and where the artist tends to fire friends or lovers. Unhealthy narcissists tend to approach people as objects to be used and discarded according to their needs. The author sets out 8 helpful ways in which you can tip the scales towards a healthy narcissism that gives you a true shot at authentic intimate relationships.

8. Nurture Self Support. As a creator you decide that the beauty in your life will reside in your painting, writings etc. But this is a dangerous thing. If you don't call and relate to yourself as the beauty in life, despair will follow as you tie your self-worth to factors entirely outside your control (commercial success of your work). You fight your fear of making mistakes or creating bad work by whispering "I am the beauty in life." By this you comfort and assure yourself whenever you meet a disappointment or failure. You rush to support and soothe yourself without throwing your hands up in despair and saying life has no meaning.

9. Release Addiction. Addiction is a meaning problem or an attempt to deal with a meaning crisis in an artist's life. Drinking, drugs etc gives a temporary high and numbs the pain arising from loss of meaning. Obsessive compulsive behaviors and rituals like tarot reading etc are other forms of addiction. As opposed to confronting the problem we distract ourselves with a whole host of other substitute behaviors. Get rid of these "happy" bondage and get back to the habit of creating and promoting your work.