Early Morning Spring Walk

Today I woke up feeling I had to go out for a walk. Nature was beckoning. Indoor exercising has never been my thing. But I was forced to do it during winter. But running or walking outdoors has always refreshed my spirit and my body in a profound way. I responded to this call before my lazy mind crept in with excuses - its a bit chilly outside, its a bit too early (630am), you might not make it back in time for your breakfast meeting etc. I resolutely bounded down the steps and ran outside before the list of excuses grew any longer and trapped me inside my home. And God - it was a beautiful spring morning. I felt indeed like I had run out into a temple of God's best creation. The sun had just risen and it was still low and mellow in the sky. The birds were chirping. I had missed the birdsong terribly during winter. I walked briskly up to my favorite area filled with old row houses all immaculately conserved and cared for. All the owners had planted beautiful flowers and plants outside their homes. The treelined street had a quiet beauty and integrity. As I walked I could almost feel myself blossoming alongside the flowers and birds. I had missed the green of the trees, the green of the grass, the green of lush vines creeping up the brickstone. And I did not realize how bleak the winter had been and what a surge of relief I had felt when the trees turned emerald green and vast stretches of brown earth came alive with grass. This was something I had taken completely for granted having lived in a very green Singapore a big part of my life.

My best friend had given me a beautiful pink Ishuffle sometime ago and I had downloaded the most moving and spiritually infused music into it from my vast and rather chaotic music collection. And walking thru the quiet streets of georgetown with this music felt like taking a walk with my special friend. Another good friend of mine - Sita Jameson - a powerful chanter/singer had also given me her music. And listening to it while walking also brought me closer to her energy - her strong Shiva voice in her little lithe feminine frame. It also invoked in me the mountain energy of Santa Fe. In one short crisp Spring morning walk the different threads of my past came together. A harmonious convergence of the energy of true friends, sacred mountains, lush foliage and angelic chanting via a nifty pink device. I think I just experienced the most perfect Saturday morning in Georgetown.

Snow White

There have been many changes in my life since I last wrote. Some on the physical plane while others were on an intellectual and spiritual plane. But the most profound change was experiencing snow. Not as a tourist would. Not as an outsider looking in would. But as a resident who sees how the rhythm and tension of city changes when it snows. DC has been experiencing historic amounts of snow this winter. We had 22 inches during Christmas and a blizzard yesterday which dumped over 27inches in various parts. Traffic came to a standstill and the airport shut down. The media whipped up a frenzy with snow warnings. This led to empty shelves in grocery stores as people stocked up on food.

The few times it had snowed in DC I had waited for it eagerly - like a woman waiting to be reunited with a lover. And I had always planned an early morning walk so that I and the snow filled city could share an intimate moment. Before the city stirred. Before the shops opened. Before the powdery white snow turned to slush. Seeing everything covered in snow and breathing in the crisp clear winter air always left me invigorated. Inspired. And in some strange way I always felt courageous - for walking out in the snow on an early morning before any of the snow has been shoveled away. Today morning I sat in the only cafe that was open in Georgetown looking out the large windows. A stranger came up and asked me whether I was enjoying the view. I was surprised by his question. I was so engrossed looking out of the window that I hardly realized the intense expression I worn on my face. I was mesmerized by the sight of folks running in the snow. Every time it snows extreme sports enthusiasts seem inspired to run outdoors. This time a pack of 7 runners almost identically attired - in blue and black lycra - were running in the middle of the empty road on a thin layer of snow. I saw the exhilaration in their faces. I admired their firm long strides on a harsh terrain. I felt the joy of their run. It was like a beautifully choreographed dance by a pack of elegant long limbed men. Putting up a joyous performance for us ordinary mortals. Mortals who could only manage to nurse their steaming lattes in the arms of a beautiful french cafe. While silently cheering the runners on.

Sacred Art on Sacred Grounds

23rd October was a magical morning. Two days ago my friend had responded to a random musing of mine - that I wanted someone to take photos of me in my favorite temple. The Kali Temple in Serangoon. Marcel, a very creative and intuitive soul from Holland jumped at the opportunity. Little India is a magical oasis in the early morning - before the crowds flood in and the shops open. It is deeply quiet and if you are able to get there for the morning puja - quite magical. We managed to get there early. Something about the light that morning (not too harsh sunlight) and the energy of the temple blew both of us away. The moment we stepped over into the temple from the street - we felt enfolded in the arms of the divine. I could see Marcel felt what I felt. He knew how to photograph without asking questions. He knew there were things that lie beyond words. Feelings and energetic vibrations that need to be felt and maybe captured in a creative work of art. One of the photos captured the essence of our experience. Among the priests and a small handful of devotees it felt natural to be dancing for the divine. As opposed to posing for a photographer.

Half Man- Half Woman

Yin Yang. Masculine-Feminine. Thandava-Lasya. Active-Passive. Many ways to describe the concept of duality. To me the most profound and intense manifestation of this is in the figure of the Ardanariswara. I first fell in love with this image in the great Chola temple of Gangaikondacholapuram. The inherent beauty in the half-male and half female form struck me. It was truly harmonious. Unlike the split personality or half-man/half woman mime artists that you see. I acquired a beautiful chola bronze sculpture of the Ardanariswara a few weeks ago. However, I still did not know the mythology behind the figure. And how it came about. Rama, one of elders in my family and a deeply spiritual being had come to visit me. He took one look at my sculpture and said that it is a very profound piece. It encapsulates a deep and important philosophy in Hinduism. But he was unable to break it down for me beyond affirming my choice.

A few days after that I was in the Ceylon Road temple in Singapore. It was a few days before Deepavali. While buying my archana I saw a little write up about the Kethara-Gowery Nonbu. A fast that Goddess Parvathi had observed for 21 days for her Lord Shiva. According to the poorana, the Goddess did not want to be separated from her husband. Ever. He approached a great saint who advised her to fast for 21 days. At the end of the 21st day, Lord Siva shown his grand appearance and accepted her prayers. He gave her half portion of his appearance and that was the birth of the Artha Nareeiswarer. The temple had organized for its female devotees to fast for 21 days before Deepavali and to break the fast on Deepavali at the temple with a Linga Puja. Beautiful !!! Although I did not partake in the fast I went to the temple on Deepavali to partake in the linga puja and to see Lord Shiva and Parvathi take a procession around the temple decked out in the finest.

The story also explains the power of fasting. Fasting is a central feature of Hinduism. My mom is vegetarian (a form of fasting from meat) on two days of the week - Fridays and Sat. This has been consistently doing this for over 50 years. Nothing drastic like turning vegetarian over night. But something steady - like giving up meat and rich foods twice a week in honor of the divine. Many of my other relatives fast regularly for various Hindu festivals and events - like Navarathri, Kanda Shasti and Karthigai - special occasions on the Tamil calender. I never understood why.

It seems that the glory of fasting is splendid. Prayer combined with fasting brings long life to husband and wife. Family bonding will be enhanced. It brings good wealth and health too. I suspect that fasting helps one focus on the reasons why one is fasting. The wish that one had placed before God. The constant reminder throughout the day reinforces the positive intent and affirms the goals you are seeking to accomplish. Today these are called positive thinking and the "Secret."

On 22 Sept I did an abhishegam for Goddess Durga. My favorite goddess who resides in the Kali temple at Serangoon Road. It so happened that the day I chose also coincided with Navarathri. And for Navarathri the temple was doing a "special puja" for the Goddess of Courage. Navarathri always has a special place in my heart. My first dance performance as a little girl of 4 was at an Amman temple during Navarathri. Also as dancers we always honored our gurus on the 10th day of Navarathri.

The "special puja" turned out to be a massive yagna (a fire sacrifice) as well as a Maha Mehru puja. It seems the Srichakra in three dimension form is inspired by the mythical Mount Mehru - a sacred mountain. And Durga resides at the apex of this great mountain. Hence, there were many senior priests all chanting with intense devotion at the time I arrived at the puja. The vibration at the puja was intense as the yagna had been lit and stoked with ghee and had already received many sacrifices. Many devotees were also sitting with their scriptures and chanting the verses for the puja. The head priest has observed serious austerities in preparation of this puja. He was on a silent fast and ate only one meal a day without salt or any sauces. The goal is to cleanse yourself and deepen one's focus on the divine.

I bought a tray of sari and offerings for the Goddess which was then thrown into the yagna. The abhisegham was also conducted in my family name at the end of the Maha Mehru puja. It was a moving event to observe and participate it. I had always felt a strong affinity to Mountains. And this event married the Mountain with the Goddess who resides at the apex. Mountains have such strong spiritual energies and have always moved me. The first time I felt the amazing power of mountains was on the ancient tribal Navaho lands in the American Southwest. At that time I did not know about the Hindu connection to the mountain and how it is regarded as a focal point of cosmic powers. Another time when the power of mountains inspired me was in 2007 when I spent a few months in Santa Fe. This time I not only found the mountains inspiring but also deeply healing and restorative to my tired soul. Sitting at the Maha Mehru puja that day helped me recall and meditate on the power of these mountains.

Water Spirits in the Smithsonian Museums

Today I visited an exhibition on African water spirits at the National African Museum, part of the Smithosonian family of museums. I loved both the architecture of the museum, the ornamental outdoor gardens as well as the quality of the exhibition and the docents leading those exhibitions. It was a truly and deeply immersive four hours in the museums. Save of the museums in Paris like the Louve and the Rodin museum, for some reason museums never really moved me. I prefer performing arts to static visual arts. But at the Smithsonian today architecture, design, scale, color and harmony all came together in a beautiful way that stimulated as well as calmed the senses simultaneously. It reminded me alot of the Parisian museums where art is a holistic offering - where there are beautiful chairs in nooks and corners for one to sit and contemplate the art. There is a deep tranquility in the gardens and the many wooden benches and sculptures under the big shaded trees. I also visited the Arthur Sackler Museum and the Freerr Museum. What I really appreciated were the high ceilings, the beautiful lighting of the exhibitions and the supremely enthusiastic staff of the Smithosonian. They loved their museum and their enthusiasm was infectious.

Loving the Desert

The first time I encountered the desert was in 1997 - just after graduating from Harvard. I did a road trip with a galfriend to Arizona, Colorado, Utah and New Mexico. This trip was a defining moment in my life. For a gal brought up in a tiny city-state-country like Singapore, the vast plains and desert landscapes were deeply inspiring and invigorating. We drove for hours on end on empty stretches of long straight desert roads singing along to American radio. It felt like we owned the world. The desert mountains and wide big big sky was inspiring, empowering and ancient. Monument Valley, Mezza Verde, Havasupai, Sedonna and Antelope Canyon blew my mind away. There was something raw, true and powerful in the history, size and silent landscapes of these intense desert terrain. I felt closer to God and the soul of the World. I did not know at that time that many ancient religious traditions and scriptures had stories about fasting in the desert and its impact on the soul. How Christ has fasted for 40 days in the desert.

As Cameite monk Father William McNamara comments without the silence, utter simplicity and emptiness of the desert, one cannot differentiate the essentials from the non-essentials. The distinction between trivial and profound is rediscovered. Mediocrity becomes impossible in the desert where everything is reduced to life and death. Man than rises up and out of his sluggish culture and regains his authenticity and sensitivity. Without the desert experience according to Father McNamara a a man cannot achieve his destiny or fulfill his vocation. I was called again to the desert in January 2007 when I spent a significant amount of time in Santa Fe - reconnecting with the Native Americans and my art. Again it was a profoundly moving experience. This time I also went to visit spiritual communities and places of worship in the desert. The Christ Desert Monastery was a moving tribute to the power of faith in the desert. I was very moved by the Gregorian chants and the stark simple church that could only be reached via a 30min very bumpy ride along a dirt road. The whole place was charged - it was living proof of the intense power of God in nature and deepening one's faith within the deep silence of the desert.

Prathabi Jois - Path to Internal Cleansing & Self Knowledge

A few days ago Prathabi Jois passed away. I had mixed feelings. I had never known him personally and had no desire to meet him. I had practiced Ashtanga quite a bit in the past few years but it was a secondary discipline for me. Dance was always my primary spiritual and physical discipline. It helped me connect with music, movement, mudras in a far more integrated and graceful way. I found ashtanga way too masculine and competitive. There was an acrobatic quality about it that did not resonate with my aesthetic sensibilities. More importantly Jois who came across as a rigid Brahmin man did not resonate with me. But I respected and agreed with some of his statements which converged with what my own dance gurus have instilled deeply within me - Practice and All is Coming.

Many of his students who gone onto carve out lucrative careers teaching yoga in the West. My time studying with them was very informative - not on yoga but about the human psychology. As my yoga teacher friend said most people don't come to yoga from a happy place. Most come there to feel better about themselves - as refuge from deep unhappiness in their lives. Similarly, many teachers I met had were calling themselves MASTER yoga teachers after spending less than 5 years teaching or learning yoga. The lack of humility was stunning and culturally offensive. In India if you must have at least 50 years and a string of award winning students before you will be called a master. This is a collective recognition from the community - not a label you put on yourself.

I remember going to Mysore to spend sometime with my friend, a disciple of Prahtabi Jois. What struck me most was how separate and unintegrated the white ashtanga practioners were from the local Mysore folks. This really surprised me and bothered me. The ashtanga group also had a cult-like feel to it. With invisible boundaries marking insiders and outsiders. And I found it really strange how all the insiders seem to be non-Indian white folks. Many of these practitioners were serious and dedicated yogis who had truly helped promote Jois and his system of yoga. For that I think India and Indians must be eternally grateful. It is through use and distribution of wisdom and knowledge that we keep traditions and systems alive. Ashtanga due to Jois' charisma and dedication has became an important cultural and spiritual phenomena and has inspired renewed interest in India and all things Indian.

Sharath, Jois grandson, is poised to take over from Jois. Even from a distance I resonate more with Sharath and his challenges. Unlike Jois he was born in a different era with significant exposure to the West. It is a heavy responsibility for someone in his mid 30s to helm a rigorous and sacred discipline like Ashtanga. But he has been trained by the master himself and has lived the traditional life while touring and promoting Ashtanga in the West. He is a product of my generation. To me he exudes a more open, humble and radiant energy that I can relate to. I understand the tension that arises from keeping a tradition "pure" while evolving it to meet current demands and world challenges. I am curious to see how he shapes the next generation of ashtanga yoga practitioners and builds on Jois' foundation. The world today is a fundamentally different place from the one Jois inhabited at the height of his fame. Today the world is far more integrated and far more troubled - both economically and environmentally. How the yoga community responds to these challenges while staying rooted in an ancient tradition is a true challenge for a new leader. One could retreat into "tradition" and shut out worldly troubles or one could use the tradition to navigate and transcend the chaos. It remains to be seen.

A Guru Calls his Disciple

Yesterday a friend of mine from LA was in town enroute to Mysore. It was a sudden trip for him. His beloved yoga guru was in critical condition in Mysore and he was on his way there to visit him. This gesture touched me deeply. Only the very dedicated and sincere students will fly half way across the world for over 24hrs to visit with their guru. Many students fawn over a guru who is in good health and who could grant them an extra tip or insight. But only the true students feel a bond with their gurus and love them deeply and want to be there to comfort their guru at hard times. And times are also hard with the economy in turmoil. It would be an easy excuse for many ashtanga yoga practitioners to say that they just couldn't afford the trip. But my friend was quite steadfast and he knew what was important to him. It also made me think of my guru in Chennai who was in her 80s and whose health was not in such a great condition either. And how deeply she had inspired me too.

My friend had a 10 hour stop over in Singapore. And he wondered if I was available for a cup of tea. I had met him in LA two years ago when I went to practice yoga at his studio. He was one of the best asthanga yoga teachers I had practiced under. He was quiet, focussed and gave firm adjustments. No cosmic energy new age talk in the class. Phew !!! Just quiet focussed breathing and asana work. Just like the way many classical Indian teachers taught. I loved his commitment to his craft. Unlike a lot of yoga teachers in the US who seemed to embrace yoga for its hip factor he seemed alot more into the culture, lineage and hardwork inherent in the practice. I found that deeply refreshing and consistent with the original intent of the classical discipline.

We met up at about 10am in the morning. I suggested that we go to the Kali temple in Singapore first. I felt it would be good to say a prayer for his guru before we hung out. After the temple I took him to the botanic gardens and then to my favorite reflexologist. Its always interesting to view my country through the eyes of a visitor. It is also very interesting how bits and pieces of my childhood memories - like feeding bread to the swans in the Botanic gardens creeps back into my memory.

We spoke of many things ranging from the financial crisis to the spiritual crisis facing the world. But overall our conversations centered on themes of hardwork, consistency and living within one's means while serving a higher power. Values that have
served many generations well across the cultures and continents.

Image and Context - Tuesdays with Lady V

Recently I did a scrap book of photos for my friend and spiritual guide. Lady V took me under her wings at a very difficult and uncertain period in my life. She took me to the Durga temple every Tue morning. Without her company and her consistent attention to me this ritual would have fallen away. By sustaining it without fail every Tue morning, I began to see again the power of consistent attention and discipline. And how that transforms our mundane existence and anxieties if we allow it to. Alot of time I realize we are caught up in our heads and lose touch with intuition. We are not present to the moment and the lessons within. A temple is an ideal place to switch off the mind and turn on the heart and higher self. By watching Lady V closely every Tue morning she SHOWED me love and other life's lessons. Her sincere devotion to both the Lord and to my well being was deeply moving. She NEVER spoke about lessons or things I needed to learn. Never preached even though she had every right to do so - having lived a highly successful life as an eminent lawyer. In fact alot of the time we were silently praying next to each other. She showed up with enthusiasm and commitment every Tue morning at the temple at 7am before she took off to work. What better gift can you ask of a friend? A friend who teaches you life lessons in a gentle and kind way. A friend who does not condemn or try to intrude or tell you how you can do things better. A friend who trusts that you have the power of discernment and intelligence within you to see and learn the very best lessons in a given situation. A friend who demonstrates faith in you. This is a powerful gift.

The scrap book I did for her was full of beautiful images and a few words. The images were ones I took when I was with her at Indian festivals, Hindu processions or prayer. Collected over a period of two years it all added up in quite significant way. In fact she was overwhelmed when she saw the scrap book. The words I wrote to accompany the photos were a distillation of the lessons in personal leadership that she had bestowed on me. Through her actions, not words. The images themselves were beautiful and powerful because of the context. Of what was happening in my life and our regular Tue morning trips to the temple. When the student is ready the teacher will appear.

Wabi Sabi in Durga Temple with Lady D

My former law firm boss, Lady D is a woman who has been a great source of inspiration to me. She was in Singapore a few days ago. She is now based in London. A creative and inspired soul our friendship and professional connection was always a very special one. She laid a strong technical foundation and showed me what it means to be a sound corporate finance and M&A lawyer. I was fortunate to have met her at a critical time in my professional life - when I had just switched from litigation to corporate lawyering.

Lady D was exacting,diligent and an intelligent attorney. Armed with a law degree from Stanford she tolerated no fools. And she inspired some of my best legal work. More importantly she had class and finesse. She dressed and conducted herself with utmost poise and elegance. In their bid to outwit and outsmart the opposing side I have witnessed many lawyers degenerate into crass and cunning human beings. She showed me that law could either bring out your best qualities or your worst. Planting this awareness within me at that time informed, moulded and guided me in a profound way. This lesson and awareness shaped my approach not just to law but to life. To treat our fellow human beings with grace and elegance while we strive to fulfill our personal goals.

But given the intense time pressures that Lady D and I often confronted in the midst of doing multi-million dollar deals our lives and our friendships were compressed. Our friendship hovered at the intellectual level and never had the time to deepen into a more spiritual one. After working with her a few years we parted and went our different ways. We continued to meet occasionally in Singapore and London when out travel schedules permitted.

Recently I took her to the Durga temple in Little India. I was not sure if that would be her kind of thing. She was a sassy Californian. I knew not what faith she practiced. But she was well traveled and widely read. I felt that she would relish being shown an intimate and holy site in Singapore, better known for its shopping malls and urban sprawl. I had taken many many foreign artists, scholars and visitors to this beautiful Kali temple and many of my visitors were deeply moved. I sensed a profound shift in their energies once they step over into the temple. Like a gentle hand had passed over their soul and given them a reprieve from their daily grind. Its a magical experience when you tap into a quiet still place within you. And a temple with its incense, music, chanting and food is an ideal place to transport you into this quiet space within. With Lady D it was no different. She had arrived a little earlier and had spent some time admiring the saris of the temple going ladies. When I arrived we walked silently into the temple and offered our prayers.

Then we sat on the quiet floor and red a beautiful book on Wabi Sabi - the ancient Japanese value system of impermanence and imperfection. The beauty of aging and the transient beauty in nature. When we left the temple Lady D made a very profound observation - how the West values the intellect above the intuition and spiritual. And as a result how many of us become enslaved by logic. In contrast the older civilizations like India respected and celebrate the whole self - the mind-body and spirit. And how that was so very evident in our temple visit today. That was music to my ears. I had managed to transmit the essence of what I saw and felt in the temple to her. So many times I see temple guides cheapening the temple visit by focusing on the non-essentials. And flooding the new comer/tourists with cultural trivia and souvenirs. I wanted to share a spiritual experience. I wanted to share something elevated and poignant that I always felt in holy spaces like temples. And to share this I stripped away alot of the temple trivia. Words got in the way. Silence allowed my guests absorb the feeling and vibrations in the place. My role is to facilitate connections, not dictate rules or my spiritual preferences.

Celebrating George Hedges

Today morning I woke up and wore all black. Black is something you never wear to the temple. Its inauspicious. Tight t-shirts are also not something you wore to the Indian temples. But I was celebrating my mentor and great friend George Hedges. I was celebrating Kali - the goddess of death and destruction. I was celebrating my deep ties to Los Angeles where some of my best memories reside. I was celebrating the cool and beautiful black. In all its power. So like a blank panther I slipped out of my house this morning dressed in a too-tight black T-shirt and tight black jeans. I looked like I was going clubbing. Yes, I was going to celebrate George Hedges and all that he had achieved up to the age of 57.

George died on full moon night - a few days ago. A night where celestial beings are out and about. For Indians it was pournami - an auspicious night. In Singapore 10 March 2009 was a beautiful moonlit night. George died after bravely battling melanoma for 7 months. During that 7 months I spoke to him a couple of times on the phone. He always always ended the call by thanking me. Thanking me for calling him. I was brave. It was difficult sometimes for me to talk with a smile in my voice when tears were streaming down my cheeks. But obviously George was braver. Yeah, he was bigger, faster, smarter and more insightful than any man I had come across. The LA Times paid a tribute to him calling him a celebrity lawyer and the man who discovered the lost city of Uber. He was truly a Renaissance Man.

To me he was my friend, mentor and former law firm boss. Someone who had taken a real interest in me. Someone who had taken me out for quick lunch to counsel me while he was in the middle of a high profile trial - defending LA's top agent, Ed Limato. I remember he sharing his research briefly with me - how he had managed to hunt down an obscure piece of California legislation that had a 7 year time cap on contracts with unique talents. This he explained with great enthusiasm might be all that he needed to win his case. He talked about the joy of defending artists and talents in a ruthless entertainment industry. It was wonderful to see his passion and love for the law. In his hands law was a benign tool for good.

Today when I went to the temple Durga looked super special. Like she knew I was coming to pay my tribute to George. Decked from head to toe in fresh jasmine flowers I had never seen her so resplendent. My jaw dropped. I had always been inspired by her beauty and strength. Today in her white floral attire she was quiet peace and divine beauty. Like a bride in white. Durga's priest as usual was very happy to see me. He welcomed me warmly. I did not tell him about George. I just silently lit two lamps for George and placed one lamp before Durga and one lamp before Kali. When I finished praying I told the priest how beautiful the Goddess Durga looked today. The priest looked at me matter-of-fact and said "Just like you." I was taken aback by such a personal comment. But I had just prayed that George's beauty and light continue to live in my heart and shine in my deeds. Durga & Kali seemed to have heard my prayers. Loud and clear.

Brain & The Body

Recently I have been exploring the topic of neuroscience and dance. This is partly inspired by my dad's Parkinson's and my dance background. Partly also with the support and enthusiasm of my dear friend Olie, director of the Brooklyn Parkinson's Institute. She together with the Mark Morris Center in Brooklyn have developed a dance for PD program. And that has gotten me thinking of the subject of dance and PD seriously.

Another person thinking along these lines and who has done choreography on this area is English artist Wayne McGregor
In the clip Wayne McGregor a neuroscientist and an English dancer/choreographer addresses or more accurately explores this issue. He is also a fellow at Cambridge's Department of Experimental Psychology.

Roses for Durga

Today is Valentine's Day. And I decided to pay the Goddess Durga a visit. To me She embodies love, beauty and divinity. She is multi-layered and multi-faceted. With her 18 arms you can see a face that radiates fearless courage, beauty, peace, erotic love, tender-hearted mother-love, the peaceful warrior and the supreme Goddess. How is that possible? Seeing her you will feel it. Instantly. As a devotee your spiritual attunement and maturity would also dictate how many of these multiple personalities you are able to connect with. It took me a long time to come to Durga. I found her too complex and inaccessible when I was younger. She was filled with contradictions and stories. But now I feel she resonates so strongly with so many parts of me.

There are many Durgas in many temples in Singapore. However, this Durga at the Veerama Kaliamman temple is my favorite Goddess in Singapore. She is super tall and stands on a bull and has a fierce lion behind her. Both these animals also radiate a certain magnetism and realism. If you stand in front of the altar long enough and connect with them - you can almost feel them come alive. And that adds to the vibration of the deity.

Today I took three beautiful red roses from my mother's garden for her. There is something deeply special about growing your own flowers in your house for the Goddess. I feel like a part of me is in that fragile rose. And offering that home grown rose to her is an act of my creation and devotion. The rose is a culmination of many weeks of disciplined watering and tending to the rose bush. Durga was also wearing a beautiful heart -shaped jasmine garland on her chest. HA !!! HA !! I am not sure if the priest knew if this was Saint Valentine's Day too -but it was nice to see Durga with a heart-shaped garland.

Today I also decided to do an archana for a couple - an old friend of my father's - who symbolize deep love and devotion for each other. And who been with each other through thick and thin for over 35 years of marriage. This couple to me represents divine love. Love in action. Not flashy glamor love. Not extreme declarations of love. Not passionate hot steamy love. Not youthful good time love. But love that is grounded in daily service and commitment. Love that has seen them overcome many trials and tribulations. And share much beauty and joy in their journey of life. When I wished the lady Happy Valentine's Day she said with a smile and in a rather matter of fact way that everyday is Valentine's Day for her and her husband.

And when I took Durga's archana to them this morning the husband told me a beautiful story about love and devotion. He said that alot of Western literature urges one to follow your passion and follow your desire. Indulge. Live and be happy. But he said that this kind of thinking is dangerous. This kind of advice is the root of much unhappiness in marriage and why marriages break down. If a man cannot learn to grow and love his wife in new ways as the wife grows and ages, then he is trapped in a cycle of novelty. He will constantly try to recreate the first flush of love that he had during the honeymoon with his wife via extra-marital affairs. However, if a man learns to look within himself and deepen his love for his wife as she goes through motherhood and middle age he has managed to conquer his lower self and open himself up to a deeper and more profound love. And thereby lay a path to greater maturity, depth and nobility in his life. Beautiful. The essence of true love.

Days with My Father - M1 Festival

"Art comes from inside of us. My family has made me who I am. A bundle of insight and neurosis." Philip Toledano.

Last month at the Esplanade Tunnel I caught a very moving exhibition entitled "Days with My Father." The M1 Festival catalogue described Toledano's exhibition as "a poignant series of photos of his father after his mother's death." It essentially deals with aging, death and loss of memory of a loved one. In this case it was the photographer's father. I had mixed emotions - how can someone utilize/commercialize his own father's suffering and have the world pry into his failing mental health in this way? Isn't it deeply disrespectful to your father? On the other hand I felt that maybe it is a way to celebrate beauty and fragility and love of humankind and the father-son bond. Maybe he really wanted to share with the world the reality and fragility of human ending. And he had the courage to share with the world a very private aspect of himself. After looking at the exhibition and the text that accompanied it I was convinced that Toledano's motivation was quite pure. And in some way I very much identified with the exhibition. And what he as a son was going through since my dad also suffers from a degenerative mental condition - Parkinsons. And it is heartbreaking to have him repeat the same question over and over again and to confuse the past, present and future. In some ways Toledano's exhibition showed me how one can capture love and beauty in the midst of aging in a sensitive and humane way. And that is so deeply affirming. Elderly people are often hidden away from the youth saturated media. There are so few ways to honor and celebrate our elders and tap into their collective wisdom and memory. This exhibition showed me a way to do this with dignity.

Chant, Trance & Thaipusam Dance

Starting at the stroke of midnight on 7 Feb, Hindus in Singapore will start the Thaipusam procession. Thaipusam one of the most revered celebrations among Singapore Hindus is celebrated with guts and glory by Hindus from all walks of life. Thaipusam celebrates the birthday of Tamil God - Lord Murugan. Thaipusam is steeped in mythology and symbolism and is a festival with much depth, discipline, grace and beauty.

This year's Thaipusam falls on Sunday - so you can expect huge crowds. The Chetti Pusam - a smaller and more intimate version of the Thaipusam is celebrated on the day before Thaipusam - on the evening of 7 Feb. This is a beautiful way to pay homage to Lord Murugan too. One of my most memorable Thaipusams is carrying a pot of milk and walking the 4km route from Perumal Temple to Murugan Temple at midnight with other devotees. It was a peaceful and a magical night. Many of those who walked with me were chanting the name of the Lord and saying mantras quietly under their breadth. This is in sharp contrast to the carnival like atmosphere during the day and as the night progresses. Thaipusam is a 24 hour event starting on 8 Feb 2008 - at midnight of 7 Feb and ending at the stroke of midnight of 8 Feb. To experience the spectrum of emotions and spiritual import track the event over the 24 hour period. It changes drastically from intense devotion to a circus/party atmosphere as the day unfolds. There seems to be an inverse co-relation between the type of devotee and the time of the day. As a general rule of thumb the most devout seem to prefer the wee hours of 8 Feb - at the stroke of midnight.

In Singapore Thaipusam has become a massive celebration and some what of a media circus with many non-Hindus and tourists gawking at the Kavadi pierced devotees. There is MUCH misunderstanding surrounding Thaipusam. The divine and sacred ritual that it is often lost. Part of this could be because for a small handful of Indians, Thaipusam has become a macho endeavor. Think hip hop Hindu ritual style - where the event becomes one grand testosterone charged event for repressed and rebellious young Indian men and women. Where each guy competes with another guy on the size and weight of his kavadi and the number of spikes that he can pierce. And how many gals he can draw to his kavadi to pay homage to him. Many of these kavadi parties bring their own Indian rap music. Unfortunately they tend to attract the most attention from the onlookers and many walk away thinking that the event is entirely divorced from its spiritual significance.

However for many other HIndus Thaipusam is a deeply sacred religious observation. Many Hindus fast for months before the event, sleep on the floor and are strictly celibate during this period. I have seen some of the most intense faces of devotion and deep acts of bhakti during Thaipusum. Thaipusam is not just physically demanding. One truly has to confront one's fears where one is being pierced with 108 spikes and then has to walk barefoot on hot tar road under the hot sun in Singapore for 4km. It is also spiritually demanding in one's ability to trust that the divine will protect and take you over your limitations and transcend your physical and mental limitations. I have seen young men take a vow to Lord Murugan praying for miraculous cures for their parents (sometimes afflicted with illness) and older men (in their 60s) take the kavadi as a life-long commitment to the divine. This demands a tremendous amount of faith and discipline and stamina.

Many of the devotees also go into trance especially at the end of the 4km route where the vibration in the temple at the main sanctum is incredibly charged. This can be rather intimidating and scary as the kavadis are huge and the dancing can be intense. But it is also beautiful to experience as I have seen amazing dances by kavadi bearers in trance. And you can see that they are entirely lost to this world and have been transported to another powerful place. Its also an opportunity for the onlooker to release his/her fear and surrender to the divine energies swirling in the temple grounds.

As a documenter or a cultural observer I urge you to look deeper and look for the beautiful stories of the triumph of the human spirit and the acts of divine grace during Thaipusam. And if possible get close and personal - follow a kavadi bearer from the time of piercing and accompany the kavadi bearer on his 4km route. Say positive things to keep his spirit up and support him. Be part of the event - not merely capturing it. And most importantly keep him in the Divine Zone - don't bother him with intellectual or theoretical questions or ask about his motivations. Don't do your homework at the event. Do it at home or after the event by getting his contact particulars from him!! Soak up the atmosphere and capture the faces radiating with love for the divine. And as an act of reciprocity for having shared the event with you do send the kavadi bearer whatever photos or video footage you took. That would be deeply appreciated and would open up the door for many other conversations.

Healing Power of Music

"I have been listening to Sita’s CD in my car and this morning I was driving to the airport for a 6:15am breakfast meeting with a gentleman who was flying through. I was listening to her songs in the quietness of the morning and it completely filled me with peace. The Shambo piece brought me back to the evening of your performance at Mariamman temple (more than her chanting of the same at Sivan temple). Truly a good mix!" Harish Narayanan.

Ganesha Chant - Chanting for the Divine

"What an amazing fusion of celtic vocals and chants, with a superb Singaporean Chinese drummer in a Hindu temple. A true melting of cultures that reached the sublime" Kal Almkhlaafy. Kal was documenting the event on video and is a professor at a local college.

Sita's concert, produced by Studio Arul, was designed to pay homage to all the major deities in the venue of her performance - the Shiva temple in Singapore. The customary practice was to start with a Ganesha chant. And Sita faithfully followed this tradition after a brief invocatory offering to her guru. We also designed the concert to pay tribute to a great Indian poet - Tagore who had written beautiful poetry to the divine. Tagore was the first Indian to win the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1913.

This kirtan is dedicated to Ganesha, the remover of obstacles. This first piece set the tone and vibration for the rest of the evening as Sita floated above the crowd like an angel with a powerful voice and presence. The audience slowly started to lose their inhibitions and towards the end of the evening were chanting in full swing with Sita. All inhibitions lost. Shiva's energy took over and any artificial divide between the artist, audience and the divine dissolved in a sea of chanting.

I was particularly touched to see that Sita placed the picture of her guru Neem Karoli Baba on the stage facing her in a small makeshift altar with some flowers and candle. She later shared with me that her spirit of her guru guided her throughout the concert and she always felt his presence with her. Beautiful. I think keeping a visual reminder of your guru not only inspires you but also reminds you of your sacred duty to carry forth the lineage with great respect.

Sita J in Concert - Chanting for the Divine

I have always wanted to see more enlightening programming in temples. Temples have typically been deeply conservative catering solely to the tastes of their Indian congregation. And this often translates into inviting singers and artists from India to perform. This insular approach to programming is deeply problematic at two levels. Firstly it alienates newcomers to Hinduism who are yearning to partake in performances and rituals. Secondly it marginalizes local Indian classical artists many of whom do not have the luxury of pursuing a full time artistic career in Singapore.

I believe that it is also critical to have temple events that more accurately reflects an evolving global identity and the cross-pollination of cultures. Singapore is one of the greatest melting pots in the world with a strong local population of Chinese, Malays, Indians and Eurasians. Today it is also filled with many foreigners who are here on short term basis. Many of them wish to partake of our local culture, heritage and sacred spaces in a more immersive and authentic ways. To respond to this need I recently brought in an artist from the US who is an accomplished chanter in the Hindu tradition. I also invited a Chinese Singapore tabla player, Govin Tan, to accompany her. And my guest list included many folks who had never stepped into a temple to experience some of our sacred arts. And many of them were tremendously excited and grateful for this opportunity.

Sita Jameison and Govin Tan broke new grounds when they led a night of chants at a Singapore temple on Sunday, 11 Jan. A woman of Irish descent who has been chanting for over 20 years Sita was bhakti in action. Her deep devotion to Shiva and the spiritually infused performance at the Shiva temple in Singapore was superbly received. Her uninhibited chanting and her infectious energy got the entire crowd chanting along. It was a powerful powerful night.

The audience was an interesting mix of graduate art students from the local university, foreign construction workers, non-Indian Singaporeans/expats and local temple devotees. Any notion that Indians have a monopoly on Indian arts was firmly shattered by both Sita and Govin. In fact these artists brought a fresh interpretation to sacred arts - with their passionate showmanship and mastery over their respective crafts. More importantly both Sita and Govin had great chemistry and a prayerful attitude towards each other stripped of any trace of vanity or insecurity. It was a beautiful combination where both exhibited great reverence to each other and their instruments.

The show also challenged current conventions on "suitable" programming in the temples. Hopefully there will be more such events in the temples that are designed to make the temple more accessible to non-Indian artists, spiritualists as well as anthropologists and the culturally curious. People feel inspired and energized when they see someone from another race or faith achieve this level of mastery in an adopted culture. It gives hope and opens up all sorts of possibility in people's mind. This is also powerful way to share ancient cultures and spiritual wisdom and promote interfaith dialogue.

Opening the Eyes of the Divine

Recently my cousin from Perth told me about his daily abhishagam to his Devi statute. A beautiful annalakshmi. He told me how he bathed her, dressed her with flowers and silk sari and how he finally drew her eyes in liquid eyeliner. He said that drawing the eyes was the most significant and important part. It was opening the eyes of the divine. The Goddess will hear you, see you and grant your wishes if you open her eyes with eyeliner. This activates the statute and imbues it with life and thereby inspires the devotee and aids in intensifying one's prayer. The more one can feel the divine in his or her heart the stronger and deeper her faith. He also explained how doing this daily abhishagam has become an excellent discipline for him. It had helped him focus and direct his energies in the world much better. It had brought him closer to God through prayer. A ritual that has personal meaning and resonance can become a powerful tool for growth and transformation. When you discover and connect with a higher vibration through rituals you are more attuned to recognizing the sacred in other areas of your life. Blindly performing rituals on the other hand has exactly the opposite effect. Going thru the motions in any area of your life without connecting to it can ultimately strip any act of its meaning - no matter how profound and pure the initial intentions were. Rituals are essentially pathways into discipline in all areas of your life. They demonstrate the power of repetition and the subtle but profound changes that can arise from repeating something. Rituals if integrated intelligently in our lives can give us strength, hope and a meditative tranquility to our lives.